I was in need of some community,” she said. “I think that’s the reason so many women bloggers start blogging, just to find someone out there who knows what they’re going through.

When we combine very real workplace inequalities with these romantic opt-out stories, the idea that “having it all” is a laughable goal becomes enshrined as immutable truth. And when we portray opting out as a simple matter of “choice,” we ignore the systematic problems that make combining work and motherhood so difficult.

If you’re not at least a tiny bit jealous at this point, you might want to check for your own pulse.

My grandfather so throughly considered cooking to be “women’s work” that he wouldn’t even enter the kitchen to get his own glass of water. My husband, born sixty-one years after my grandfather, shows his love by bringing me coffee every morning and whipping up chocolate-chip cookies for friends’ birthday parties. I think it’s fair to say that few young men these days feel less masculine for knowing their way around a kitchen.

Does the burden of “do it yourself” fall harder on women than men?

But she realized that modern homemaking could be creatively fulfilling in a way she’d never imagined. Unlike previous generations of housewives, who Erika imagines were bored and dissatisfied, Erika says women her age treat the duties of the home as outlets for their creativity.

Her conclusion: “You just have to follow your own heart” when it comes to medical decision-making.

It’s not the nineteenth century; I’m not meant to be judged on how good a housekeeper I am. Getting down on the floor with a lemon and a bucket of vinegar does not make me a better person.

There’s no evidence that women are actually happier at home. In fact numerous studies show that working moms are happier and more fulfilled than stay-at-home moms.

It's not the nineteenth century; I'm not meant to be judged on how good a housekeeper I am. Getting down on the floor with a lemon and a bucket of vinegar does not make me a better person.